Told you so

If I could have turn back time, I would take back not telling you how I feel... Not telling you how much you mean to me. Though I told I don't regret not telling you... actually I do... very much. Every night I remember all the moments we have; the laughter, the talks... all. And how each time I was with you I just wanted to kiss you, but I held it in because maybe you didn't feel the same way for me. I wanted to hold your hand when I get scared, I wanted to hug & keep you close to me. From the moment I 1^st laid eyes on you... I told myself I want to be close to this guy, I don't want why I said that to myself... but I don't know. Why didn't I just tell you & save all this regret? Why do I feel this way about you? It's driving me insane. I know I kinda used those guys to get over you... but I just look for you in them... when I know they will never be YOU... And when this another guy came, I thought he'd be the one to make me forget, but I was wrong because I saw you in him, but it wasn't the same. I'm used to the pain, my heart became numb && immune to pain because it... alittle cry && I'll ok. Because the pain I felt for them wasn't close to the pain I felt when I saw you with someone else. Gawd, how could I be so stupid caught up with my human intutition, too afraid to lose you in my life... because I would rather have you this way... than not have you at all in my life. To see your smile... To see you happy... To see you alright is all I ever wanted ever since I met you. I guess it's the only way of saying thank you for brighting my world again... & thought I want you to be mine... I gotta do the right thing & let you go to her because she has you & you say your happy with her... so I'll be happy for you too... even though it hurt far more worst than hell itself. But I want to see you happy... your happiness is more important to me than mine... ∠/3